Harlegrin
by MidnightSchemer13
Summary: No matter how many times I think "I hate you. You've hurt me.", I know that if you ever want me at your side, I'd be there for you in a second.   HarleyxJoker is a sick, sick love, tragic and sad. Hilarious, though. In a disturbing way... T for themes


**HarleyxJoker is a sick, sick love. It's tragic, and hilarious, but still... a touch more than disturbing and sad.**

**Joker's voice is Mark Hamil (like, Luke Skywalker from the original Star Wars trilogy) **

**Yeah, it took me a while too. He also voices Ozai from A:TLA **

**Not mine. I hope I was able to convey the emotions, but... this was done at the office. I apologize for the poor-ish quality (?) **

* * *

><p>"<em>Harley! Wake up, you useless waste of space!<em>"

Harleen Quinn, alias Harley Quin, the notorious Joker's girlfriend and accomplice, groaned into her pillow.

"Five more minutes, Mistah J, I promise," she moaned, her pillow muffling her plea.

"_No, Harley! I said WAKE UP, and I mean NOW!_"

The blonde woman sighed resignedly.

"Alright, alright, Mistah J, I'm gettin' up, don't you worry…" She made a pathetic attempt to get up, then flopped back down again.

"_That's better, Harley! Now, come on, come on! We have to hurry if we're going to give Ol' Bats his surprise!_"

At the word 'surprise', Harley jumped out of bed. Just as she did, the Joker's voice began cackling manically. _Music to my ears_…

"Oh my gosh, Mistah J, I nearly forgot!" Rushing to the table on the other side of the room, a clear five feet away from her bed, she turned off the clown-shaped alarm clock. The cackling stopped abruptly, and Harley rushed to bathroom to change into her costume and apply her makeup.

_Oh my gosh, Mistah J's gonna kill me if I'm late! Maybe he's in a good mood today, though. Then maybe he'll just torture me instead. As long as he doesn't hurt Red. That would be bad… _

Her eyes flickered to the clock above the mirrors, and she sighed in relief.

It was five thirty.

"Whew! I forgot that I asked Mistah J to set it early! Hahaha! Now I have two hours, all to myself!" she giggled. "What shall I do? Oh! I know! I'll call Red!" Jumping over to her phone, she quickly dialed a number and waited for Poison Ivy to answer her.

She picked up the phone after five rings.

"Harley, dear, it's EARLY." Harley laughed at her friend's grumbling. Ivy normally woke up early, but for the past three days, she had been sick, and so was waking up at around noon. _Bet ol' Bat's been wondering what she's up to_, Harley thought to herself.  
>"Good mornin' to ya too, Red! How's it goin'? Ya feelin' any better?"<p>

"One question at a time, dear," groaned Ivy. "I'm still sick and no, I'm not feeling better. Although… I did meet a gardener the other day…" Harley squealed.

"Was he cute? Did he ask you out? Is he—" Poison Ivy laughed.

"Yes, he was cute, but no, he didn't ask me out, Harley. We just met and talked for about an hour; that's hardly enough time to get to know someone."

"Unless you're in the bedroom," said Harley slyly. She could practically _hear _Red blush.

"It's almost six in the _morning_, Harley. Normal people don't talk about such things this early…"

"Yeah, well, we ain't normal, now are we? _'Specially _not Mistah J. He's so wonderful, and amazing, and charming, and hilarious, and—"

"Is this why you called me? To go on and on about your 'Prince Charming'?" Red's voice was teasing, but Harley sensed the hint of worry in it.

"Red, don't worry. He's fine. He hasn't hurt me once this week!"

"Harls, it's _Tuesday. _The week just started."

"Even better! The week's gotten off to a great start! Besides!" Harley lowered her voice conspirationally. "We're gonna give Bats a surprise today!" Ivy's interest rose.

"Oh really? And what kind of surprise?" Harley grinned and shook her head.

"Nuh-uh, Red! It's a secret! I'll tell ya when Mistah J gives me the okay, okay?" Red sighed.

"Alright, Harley. Just don't get into too much trouble and don't let him hurt you, okay?" Harley's grin fell.

"Okay, Red," she said quietly, before ending the call and replacing the phone in its cradle. Walking towards the bathroom again, she began brushing her blonde hair.

"Mistah J won't hurt me. Not today. As long as I behave… and as long as _Bats _doesn't give us a no-show. Inconsiderate jerk."

Carefully placing her harlequin hat onto her head (and placing her pigtails inside it), she studied herself in the mirror. All she needed to do was apply her makeup, eat breakfast, brush her teeth, get her guns, and meet the Joker at the secret place.

Sighing, she opened her makeup bag and rummaged through it, and picked out the face paint.

_I'm not going to wear the mask today. I'm going to use black instead… _

Carefully drawing black circles around her eyes and coloring them in, she looked at herself in the mirror.

Harley Quin, not Harleen Quinn, stared sadly back at her with defeated eyes.

_Dammit Red, why'd you have to remind me? _As if on cue, her bruises from the week before twinged, giving Harley a moment of pain. Wincing, she glared at the mirror.

"Don't look at me like that! Mistah J's a good man! He loves me! He… he loves me…" Tears slipped down Harley's pale cheeks, smearing her black makeup, as she hit the mirrors with her fist. Several cracks appeared, and blood oozed from several shallow cuts in Harley's hand. Shattered glass dotted the counter. Harley stopped her crying and gasped.

"Oh no. Oh no, Mistah J's gonna kill me. I promised him I wouldn't get hurt!" Harley rushed to the kitchen and ran her hand under cold water, before looking for the bandages and medicine in her cupboards. Quickly applying the ointment, she sighed as the bleeding stopped.

"There. All better. Mistah J won't know, 'cause I won't tell him." Smiling to herself, she went back to the bathroom and cleared up the mess, and continued applying her makeup.

A mask, a grinning mask stared back at her through the glass, with black eyes and white skin, and a giant grin stretched across her face.

_Perfect_.

Running into the kitchen, she took out a box of cereal, a carton of milk, a bowl, and a spoon, and fixed herself a breakfast of cold cereal. Eating quickly, she accidentally glanced at her wrist, showing shiny scar-tissue lines across them.

_No, don't think about that. Just finish eating. Go through the motions. There, now just wash the dishes and keep smiling. The Joker loves to see you smile, Harley. _

_He loves me anyway, though, right?_

_Yes, he does. He's not normal, the Joker. That's why he shows his love by hurting you, to show that, even though he's hurt you, he's still there to make the pain go away. _

_You promised not to cut yourself, remember Harley? Or else Joker's going to hurt you even worse, and maybe, love you less, if you break that promise. _

_I know. But Mistah J'll understand the cuts on my hands. Those weren't on purpose. He won't hurt me for these. _

_Maybe, Harls. Maybe. _

Sighing and gathering her weapons, Harley walked out the door, not bothering to lock it (as her bodyguards would watch over it for her), and strode down the street with feigned confidence as she got nearer to the secret place.

The Joker's eternal smile greeted her.

"Harls! You're early! That's amazing! You feeling okay, Harls?" Harley forgot that she wasn't smiling.

"Oh—Oh yeah, Mistah J! Never better!" She grinned widely to prove her point.

The man in the purple suit clapped his hands together.

"Excellent! That's wonderful news, Harley! I love it when I see your smile!"

A faint, fuzzy, warm feeling filled Harley as she stared into his eyes.

"You ready, Harls?"

"Yeah, Mistah J, I'm ready."

_I'm ready for anything. _


End file.
